3 Myths About Japan

Posted on May 8, 2007 by Lauren Hudgins

Some disappointing things to keep in mind before you plan your trip to Japan or commit yourself to living here.

1. Everyone knows English- A Tokyo English magazine called Metropolis estimated that about 30% of Japanese speak English. I’d say that is a very high estimate. A fair amount of younger people know enough English to tell you where the museum is, but the people you really need help from, the restaurant waiters and hotel clerks won’t understand anything you’re saying to them.

2. Weird vending machines- Sorry to report I haven't really seen any. If they do exist in Japan, they just aren’t frequent. The weirdest vending machine I've seen recently was an iPod vending machine in the San Francisco airport on my way over. They do, however, have cigarette and beer vending machines in easily accessed public places. I generally only saw them in back alleys in Tokyo, but still, this must make the underage delinquent scene a lot easier.

3. Japan is very technologically advanced- Looking for wireless? Tough luck, unless you’re in a Starbucks in Tokyo. Trust me, you won’t get wireless in your hotel room. Walking around Tokyo you certainly won’t be blown over by the electronics offered for sale. And most normal Japanese people don’t really own many fancy gadgets (maybe with the exception of an impressive keitai). Nor will the large advertising screens on busy street corners seem all that impressive if you’ve been to Times Square. It’s not like they’re high definition or anything.

Japan seems amazingly adept at fitting the most useless things with technology rather than concentrating on some things that I consider very important (like widespread internet access). A trip down a beauty aisle in an electronics superstore yielded what looked like an electric skin exfoliator (a sort of gentle sander, I think) an electronic nail buffer, an electronic eyelash brush, and an electronic eyelash curler.

The greatest extent of Japanese technology seems to be centered around the toilets. Many toilets in places as simple as McDonalds are equipped with toilet seat warmers (that heat things up to uncomfortable levels); a bidet that can hit the front and back separately, at different levels of water pressure to your pleasure; a sound system that will play white noise (or flushing sounds) in order to mask body functions; and some even come with a deodorizing spray, all from buttons on a touch pad. I have even seen a toilet with a light in the toilet bowl. I’m not sure what they’re trying to illuminate. I probably don’t want to know.